"Why checklists are important", "Be a morning person", "The ultimate organisation method". Those titles may trigger to you different feelings - a boost of energy, a want to learn more ; but also maybe a sense of failure, a hate towards the person you are. In fact, you have tried all those successful habits everybody seems to be doing and appreciate. But, in fact, it does not work for you. Maybe one day or two ; and then this unnatural discipline fail you, and you get back into those self-blame feelings, thinking that you are not enough, and numbing yourself with low-cerebral activities... Until the next productive video.
What if we could stop those roller-coasters, and finally manage to be happy and productive in a long-term period ? What if you already had this power, deep inside you ? Lets dive into the concept of Intuitive Living.
Problem
This is the new big wave: productivity. The word has completely invaded the media sphere, and in all its possible variations. We read books about habits and success ; we vision videos about minimalism, essentialism ; we are driven to buy online courses to organize our computers, our phones, our lives ; we wake up making to-do lists, setting timers when we work, using the Eisenhower matrix ; we talk about great ideas to change the world, about our projects, about what we want to create and bring to the world next.
This new movement has even been emphasize by the pandemic situation, and the quarantine imposed in most countries of the world. We all got stuck in our homes, and suddenly the time was more present than ever. And, with it, the real feeling that it was passing by, and that we had to do something of it. As if the time we really felt was a waste time.
Because I feel this is what all those productivity tips makes us feel like: we get the power back over our time. We want to master it, to get the most of it, to plan it, make sure it will not be "lost" in some unproductive stuffs. But, more than that, we want our time on this planet to be profitable ; for us, for others, for the entire universe.
And it feels like, if I do not have this worry of my time, I have no value. If I do not have a project, an idea, a great timetable of checklist for the day, that means I am not bringing something of value into the world. I need those rules, those tips, this discipline to manage to do something.
In fact, I see a red flag in the distress I see people around me rushing at and ploughing into all those productivity things. I see them feeling bad that they can not handle this routine for more than a week. I see them learning online that they have problems in their organisation, and learning after what they have to do to fix it. I see them swinging between moments when they just feel at the top of everything ; and days after being completely under the wheather.
And this feeling could lead to personal distress, depression, mental diseases. Because, with that much discipline, that much "have to", maybe we are forcing something inside us that was not supposed to be here, or to be that way.
But, hey, I am here to challenge assumptions. So, lets be bold. What if we already had all of those stuffs, deep inside ? What if we already know what to do and when to do it, without having ?
Intuitive eating parallel
In fact, I see many similarities between this productivity quest and the problem of diets nowadays. We have quite the same situation, and quite the same effects.
- There is a lot of systems out there about how you need to eat (low-carb, fat free, keto, vegan, sugar-free, intermittent fasting) ; as there is a lot of systems about how you have to live your life (minimalism, essentialism, habits, life goals) ;
- We can observe this yo-yo between restriction and over-eating ; as we can observe a yo-yo between a super-organized life and the deepest depression ;
- We are scared to let diet rules fall, because we think it would just promote junk food, and we would just eat "badly" ; as we are scared to let those productivity systems fall, scared to let ourselves live "as we want" without planning, because it feels like, if I let it go, I will just spend my days on video games or laying on my bed.
Because of this parallel, I dare to suggest : what if, as intuitive eating is putting in, we had already this wisdom within ourselves - the wisdom of what I have to do next, without referring to an external source.
This theory is based on the principles of Intuitive Eating. This notion was first introduced by two dieticians, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, in their now best-seller Intuitive Eating, published for the first time in 1995. The objective of their approach is to get rid of all those rules the society had gave us about how we are supposed to eat, and how our bodies is supposed to look. Instead, they guide us to reconnect with this intuition within us, that knows what is good for us without help needed.
They are in total 10 principles of Intuitive Eating. I let you the link to the website below if you are interested in learning more about this specific approach. For the purpose of this article, I want to revisit each of those principles, in order to get to the same result as those two professionals had with our approach to food : reconnect with our intuition about what we need to do next.
Principles
- Reject the productive mentality : distance yourself from what trigger your feelings of not doing enough, not taking the most of your time. In a first period, distance yourself from all of those YouTube Channels or stalking compulsions through the life of those you feel are "successful". This is not what you need right now - now, you need to reconnect and feel what it is like to let you live a bit.
- Honour what you feel to do : and keeping in touch with how you feel and what you need. If you are over-tired, or over-stressed, it is likely you are going to fall back into some distress or bad self-confidence.
- Make peace with your envies : maybe today you feel more tired. Maybe you need to go to the gym ; maybe not. Maybe you have a pulse of amazing ideas, and feel like spending some time at your desk. Maybe you want to play video games for hours. Just let you do what you want, without judging, without restraining. In the first time, it might feel like you are loosing control. But trust the process, and let your body and mind recover from those intensive discipline periods.
- Challenge the productivity police : say no to all those exterior and internal pressures telling you that you must organize, plan, create a strict discipline even if you do not feel so for yourself. Get away from trackers and strict challenges. Those rules are not design for you especially, and therefore are more likely to push you fitting into something that is not for you.
- Discover the envy factor : let your body and mind decide what it wants to do next, without any expectations. This is the pursuit of a certain pleasure, a certain ease in your daily life. When you do what you really feel like doing, and you allow yourself to do it unconditionally, this is when you are the most in the moment, and you get the most of it. This is also when balance came go back into your life.
- Feel your tiredness : you need to trust that you will give you rest and activities you deeply love when you feel the need for it. Listen to the signals in your body and mind telling you you need to take a break, or that this activity is not feeling good right now. Instead of being kept into a trans where you do what you need to, without being conscious, you lost contact with this inner wisdom within yourself.
- Cope with your emotions with kindness : numbing yourself with different activities you have to an extreme as working, exercising, eating, watching TV, reading, sleeping may not be the best option to deal with those hard feelings of fear, sadness, insecurity, disgust. You will have to deal with those emotions at a certain time. Instead, try to pause and recognize what is going on. Maybe try some meditation, or talking to a friend - or acknowledge that this may not be the perfect time to face it, that it is too loud. Reconnect with the present moment, and not running from it.
- Respect your envies : accept your natural rhythm, and your interests. Maybe you are not an evening person ; or a morning one. Maybe you feel more like working for hours straight ; maybe you feel better fractioning work in small periods. This is how you are today, this week, this year, for your life. And this is beautiful : you have your own way of living, doing, making ; and this deserve dignity. Focus on how you feel, instead of a planning created my someone else.
- Play - Feel the difference : you have some of those resting activities, you sometimes feel ashamed of, because qualified as "unproductive" - watching TV, playing video games, just be in your bed. Do not get them away from your life ; instead, try to be mindful about those ones. What is happening inside of me ? Why I am feeling that good doing this ? How am I feeling now, after an hour ? Do I need more of it ? This can make the difference between binge-watching Netflix and looking at three episodes because, right now, it feels good.
- Honour your projects - gentle productivity : in all this jingle of advices and tips to be more productive, take what could feel good for yourself, and try it. Maybe this would fit, maybe not, and that is ok ! Those are tools, and not life principles. Some techniques may work for a time, and then you would need something else. This is how I see this website : a toolbox you can try, maybe adopt for a time, and then let go. What a wonderful exploration life is !
Fears
As with intuitive eating, this is more than natural to be scared when it comes to intuitive living. Thoughts as "I am just going to spend my days doing nothing", or "I will never get into those things I want to achieve" may come up ; as thoughts like "This promote junk eating" and "I will just stuff myself" could pop up when it comes to intuitive eating.
And, well, if you have deprived yourself from resting and playing since a long time, this is maybe what is going to happen at the beginning. In fact, this is a real process. First, your body and mind need to recover from this discipline you have put them into, from all this self-blame and obligations you have set. As a young child you have forbidden to play with a toy for a long time, you are just craving for this specific game, and you are therefore likely to use it a lot at the beginning.
But you have to trust the process : your body and mind would eventually, after some days or week, adjust and begin to give you new signals. Maybe you are not that tired or overwhelmed anymore. Maybe you start to have new ideas, new projects, new things you feel like doing. Honour those new envies, and let them flow into your daily life. Maybe, at the beginning, it will just be five minutes of research on a certain topic on the internet. And then an other action. And an other.
What is important is to always stay tune with what you need. Life is not a straight electroencephalogram - neither it is a roller coaster with always big accelerations, loops and drops. It may be more subtle than that, more turbulent, changing in a minute. Staying aware of what your mind and body want to do next would allow yourself to get the most pleasure of your day.
Is it sure I will want to do something else than just resting ? Well, I deeply believe in this. How are we, as toddlers ? We are curious. We ask questions, want to live new experiences. We have ideas, we love playing, making sandcastles, drawing, spending hours inventing stories. Do our timetables where precise at this moment of our lives ? Do we had all those obligations, all those rules coming from the outside ? And, however, didn't we did great stuffs for this moment of our lives ?
I dare you to try. There are still those child treasures in your mind. Now, you are able to be more conscious, more willing to realize them ; and it is likely that you know much more things than at this period. Why not trusting this inner toddler, this inner wisdom about how you have to manage your time, according to your mind and body feelings ?
Nuances
Yeah, well done ; but now, those tools I deeply believe in about productivity, sometimes they work, and they can really be boosters for my projects ! Do I have to throw them away completely, or is it possible to keep them ? What relation do I have to build with them ?
Again, a comparison with Intuitive Eating is more than relevant. In fact, it is amazing to let go of the rules in your alimentation. But some advices are fundamentally good for your health, such as eating more greens or limiting added sugar. If I let go of all the rules possible, it could although be interesting to get a bit to knowledge and curiosity on this subject, to boost my daily food consumption.
How do you find this happy balance ? Maybe the key point here is within the words we use. Instead of saying that this idea about productivity and organisation is a rule that work and that I should follow, we can try to view this same piece of information as a data, a new idea we could implement in our lives to try it out, and maybe leave it if it does not serve you for the best. And implementing it in your life does not mean following a strict discipline for days : you could, for example, write it in an idea list you have, and when you feel like trying it, giving it a go ! Remember that what do work for someone successful does not mean it will make you successful. This is the same with eating, so why wouldn't it work for your life in general ?
I must admit that this whole concept is an idea of mine, something I have read between the lines in some articles, and developed according to my own experiences and perception of life. This is not something you have studies on, or proofs that people get to a better life with it. The only person I know who had begin to implement all of this into his life is, well, my own self. This means that there is no authority saying that this is something that works (you can check my article on how to have a rational conversation with someone to understand the good authority arguments).
However, I deeply feel this could work for a lot of people. Why not joining me on this journey, and growing a community of intuitive humans ? If you give it a try, please share your experiences in the comments bellow. You can join me on Instagram to have daily inspiration on this journey, and to connect with people seeking for the same intuitive experiences. Lets get free from to dos and to have : just be who your body and mind tell you to be.